Monday, 5 October 2009

Joke

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'

Friday, 2 October 2009

JOKE

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?”
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Thursday, 1 October 2009

JOKE

This is just to put a smile or giggle on those who call by.

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, ' Arthritis.'


I'll put some more when you stop laughing.

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Friendships

I Samuel 20:1-42

You have probably met and known many different people in your life. Most of them may simply be acquaintances, while others you might consider friends. Of these, there may only be a few that you would consider close friends.
Then, perhaps, there is that one person who is as close to you as a brother or sister. In Proverbs 18:24 declares... “But there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”, someone in whom you can confide and trust, and with whom you can share your hopes and dreams. A friend who is there not only through the good times, but also the bad—through thick and thin—someone who won’t desert you when the going gets tough.
A true friendship that stands the test of trials and time is rare. Friends may come and go, but to have a lifelong, close personal friendship is truly a great blessing. I have two wild friends that I have known for 24 years. They are both married and have children but we still keep in touch. We are always there for one another and we care about each other so much, no matter what. There is one more person I would call a friend and that is my husband. I would say they are the best friends I have known in my life who helped shaped my world and life. They encouraged me and strengthen me in my times of need by laughing it off... kind of. I have done the same for them and I am blessed that God has given me such wonderful women of God and a lovely husband whom I am married to for nearly 21 years. We (my girl friends) live apart, from each other, Papua New Guinea, New Zealand and Singapore respectively but we call each other from time to time and pick up from where we stopped our last conversation.

The story of Jonathan (means the Lord has given) and David (means beloved) is the story of one such friendship. As you read about this friendship, you will find that they shared much in common. There were also things that could have easily destroyed their bond, but instead, they made it stronger.
Jonathan, prince and son of Saul, was the heir apparent to the throne of Israel. He was destined to rule after the death of his father. Jonathan was well aware of this and the promises God would have made to his father had Saul been faithful. He was a young man of courage, strength, and determination who looked to and relied on God. He was a mighty soldier in his own right—highly respected and trusted by the men he led. These character traits were clearly evidenced when Jonathan fought against a garrison of Philistine soldiers with only his armour bearer by his side. Trusting in God, he slew 20 Philistines in a half acre area of land (1Samuel 14: 1-23).
On the other hand David was the youngest son of Jesse. He was a shepherd boy that rescued his sheep from a lion and bear by killing them. He also played harp which he may have learned during his free time. It was the playing of this instrument that gave him favour with King Saul. The soothing music that David skilfully played refreshed and calmed Saul’s troubled spirit. This moved the king to bestow upon him the great honour of being his armour bearer. After David killed Goliath, King Saul gave him his daughter Michal as his wife. Therefore David became the prince of Israel and a brother in-law to Jonathan.
David grew in stature and respect among the army and the people of Israel. Saul’s love and favour towards David turned into bitterness, resentment and hate. Saul became determined to murder him, since he knew that David would replace him on the throne. This also meant that Jonathan would never be king.
David’s courage and bravery in killing Goliath has affected Jonathan deeply; he was moved to love David as much as his own life. He realised that they shared much in common in the areas of courage, bravery, strength, loyalty, trust and faith in God. From that day forward, they were the best of friends. Jonathan was moved to the point of giving David some of his treasured items: His robe, sword, bow and belt, and even his armour
Many times, he interceded for David, warning him that his father was seeking to take his life. Jonathan urged his father not to do this, saying, “Let not the king sin against his servant, David; because he has not sinned against you, and because his works have been very good towards you: For he did put his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, and the LORD brought about a great deliverance for all Israel: you saw it, and did rejoice: why then will you sin against innocent blood, to kill David without a cause” (1Samuel 19:4-5).
He even risked his life by travelling a great distance to see David in hiding, knowing that his father surely had spies watching every move. And he did this knowing that David would ascend to the throne in his place. Understanding that he must decrease while David increased, he pledged to stand loyally beside him.
Think how easy it would have been for Jonathan to go along with his father’s plotting, giving in to carnal nature and lust for power. It would have been easy for him to fall into the same attitudes as Saul, to have a bitter state of mind, saying, “It’s not fair, God! Why should I be punished just because my father messed up?” Instead, he not only accepted God’s decision, he became best friends with the man whom his own human nature would have considered his rival! In all of this, he showed great loyalty not only to David but also to God and His will. In a way, Jonathan showed loyalty to his father as well, preventing him from committing a terrible murder.
In the same manner David also showed great loyalty to Saul and Jonathan. As many times as Jonathan and David were alone, it would have been very easy for David to give in to his human nature and kill a potential rival. Even when presented with the opportunity to sneak up on Saul (the very one trying to murder him) and kill him, David restrained himself. David well remembered the covenant made with his best friend, recalling the words Jonathan spoke:
“And you shall not only show me the kindness of the Lord while I still live, that I die not: But also you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever: no, not when the LORD has cut off the enemies of David everyone from the face of the earth” (1 Samuel 20:14-15)
Even though David had been anointed king, he still showed great respect toward Jonathan—even to the point of bowing before him three times. So great was his love that, upon the news of Saul and Jonathan’s death, he composed a song of lamentation called the Song of the Bow, and instructed that it be taught to the children of Judah. What a wonderful tribute to true friendship, when so many would have rejoiced at the death of rivals. (2 Samuel 1:17-27)
Even after the death of Jonathan, David kept his promise to show kindness to his friend. He searched out Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth, who was lame and provided for him the rest of his life. As a final act of love and respect, David brought the bones of King Saul and Jonathan from Jabesh Gilead and buried them in the country of Benjamin in Zela, in the tomb of Kish his father (2 Samuel 21:12-14). In this way David honoured God’s anointed king, Saul, and recognised the loyal, unselfish love of his friend.
Much can be learned from the friendship of Jonathan and David. They were both princes of Israel, one by birth, the other by marriage. They were both in line to assume the throne of Israel. Both were mighty men of valour, and were respected and trusted by the men they led in battle. Each had accomplished great exploits, relying on God for victory. They were fervent, driven, resourceful, courageous, bold, meek and humble. They knew and respected government and authority and served those under and over them. They were loyal to one another and to their king.
They could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition and lust for power, choosing instead to become the closest of friends. They knew how and when to laugh together, cry and show their emotions together, sharing hopes and dreams, thereby cementing their friendship forever. They were real men, able to show the true, proper and right love of a brotherly friendship, willing to lay down their lives for one another. So great was their friendship that at one of their partings, “they kissed one another, and wept one with another, but David more so” (1Samuel 20:41)
How rare this kind of friendship is in the world today!
Yet, YOU can have this kind of friendship with God and Christ. Recall Christ’s words to His disciples: “Greater love has no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you” (John 15:13 -15)
The record of David and Jonathan’s friendship has been preserved in the Bible for our benefit. It pictures the close relationship between God the Father and Jesus Christ. They desire that same close, personal relationship with every human being.

Monday, 28 September 2009

David And Goliath

1 Samuel 17: 1-58


The Philistine army had gathered for war against Israel. The two armies faced each other, camped for battle on opposite sides of a steep valley. A Philistine giant measuring over nine feet tall and wearing full armour came out each day for forty days, mocking and challenging the Israelites to fight. His name was Goliath. Saul, the King of Israel, and the whole army were terrified of Goliath.
Goliath is a Philistine and there is a suggestion that he came from the tribe called the Anak who were living in Canaan the Promised Land for the Israelites. His name means Exile.
David was the eighth and youngest son of Jesse, from Bethlehem. He was a strong, healthy lad, apparently with an uncommon characteristic among his people of the time. He was a shepherd from an early age, and developed his courage and fighting skills by defending the flocks from the wild animals, including lions and bears, that preyed upon them. The free time that being a shepherd provided also allowed him to develop two other skills, that of music and poetry. David was a warrior, and a writer of psalms. His name means beloved.
Number eight in the bible means new beginning and his name indicated that there was already a prophetic calling in his life before Samuel anointed him with the horn (horn symbolises blessing) of oil. In the Hebrew times the eldest inherit and so David was seen to be the least of young man in the family. He was seen by his brothers and father as a shepherd boy and the last born. When your family troubles you, watch out as it could be that you have a special calling or that you will be somebody someday. If you study the Bible you will see that a lot of high profile people/leaders in the Bible faced great opposition in their calling. Pain is a friend to make you know that there is an enemy. When he killed the lion and bear nobody knew except his family. David may have felt good within himself as I know the good feelings I have when I overcome a situation that has bordered me. Just imagine David feeling great after killing those animals. Every victory in life is bringing you to a greater challenge and success. Responsibilities always bring hardship but the ending result is joyous because you are fulfilling your dreams. Every hero can weep but should not get bitter.

One day, David, who was actually then too young for the army, arrived with some deliveries for his older brothers. While there, David heard Goliath shouting his daily defiance and he saw the great fear stirred within the men of Israel. David responded, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of God?" Being uncircumcised indicated that the enemies had no covenant and protection from God. Fear consumed them because their eyes were on King Saul and not the living God. Men can only go so far as with men it may look impossible but with God all things are possible. When he heard Goliath, he immediately volunteered to fight him. It was hard for the people around him to accept him in. They refused him and even his own brothers were furious and said he was acting proudly. One important lesson we must learn from this is that we alone can hear our call from God. Since the task is to be done by us, no one around us will understand and they will always misunderstand us. There is a knowing deep down in you that say, yes, you can do it. Encourage yourself like David and make sure you are hearing from God clearly. The giant was to be brought down by David and none of the others. He was called for such a time to do this. God has given him boldness, strength and favour; therefore no one would have stopped him. When your call is of God, nothing can stop you from achieving that.
After turning down an offer of the king's own armour, which was too big for him, David went down to the creek and got five suitable stones for his sling. The sling and stones was the only thing that David had with him at this time. What have you got with you right now that you can use to bring glory and honour to God? God can use the little things to make you great. Give Him the least and best possession you have and you will be surprised to see it multiply.
The Bible declares that Goliath and his armour bearer stood upon the field of battle. He killed Goliath with a single perfectly-accurate shot, perhaps with a little help from an angel - the stone didn't just rebound off the giant man's thick skull as would naturally be expected, but actually penetrated with the power of a modern high-velocity bullet. Upon seeing their hero defeated, the Philistine army made a disorderly retreat (i.e. they just dropped everything and ran), giving the Israelites then in hot pursuit the victory.
Goliath’s name indicated where he was to be – exile. It made matters worse because he was cursing Israel and their living God. Goliath’s god was deaf and dumb, unable to move but David’s God was living and active. The Philistines worshipped dagon, god of Agriculture (1Samuel 5:2) We must be careful in what we say about God’s people and God, as we may end up being the victims. The Philistines defile God by carrying the ark of God from the Israelites and putting the living God on the same level as their god – dagon. We cannot put Jehovah God on our level. However, we can call on Him as daddy or Abba father and He will truly hear us. God has prepared and raised David up to fight Goliath. Each one of us was born with a purpose. God has set something out there and every day we may be walking towards it.
When David killed Goliath he took Goliath’s head and buried it outside the walls of Jerusalem. This place was then named Golgotha. On that same hill our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified. This is our God showing us that he has defeated all the giants we are facing today. When we believe His word and know that we are God’s beloved like David we will bring down the giants (problems) in our lives.

Saturday, 26 September 2009


Colossians 1:16-17
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Jesus holds our lives together
In the past, the stones that were used to build buildings were not plastered together with cement but every piece of stone fitted just right. That makes us wonder what keeps the buildings up, like the arch in the picture. All the stones have to be precision cut to fit nicely into the structure and the centre stone is placed in position last. It is the keystone that keeps the arch from falling.
Jesus is like the keystone in our lives. He keeps our lives from falling apart. When there are a lot of things going on, it may seem like Jesus is just peripheral to other more pressing things. However, remember that Jesus is the one who holds our lives together. The world is not our focus because it is simply peripheral to Jesus. In everything we must always include Jesus because when He is the focus in your life, everything holds together and stacks right into place. When the disciples were in a boat that was beaten by storm, Jesus was there to speak Shalom into the situation. So when your life seems to be falling apart, Jesus will be there to hold you in His loving arms of GRACE.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 27:17

A merry heart does good, like a medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17: 22